Fast Forward

Now everything had settled in here in Singapore.

We've got a place to stay.

Got a new iPhone.

Enjoyed our first salary.

Paid our debts.

Nice company.

Enjoyed our training.

Now the time line is a couple of months taking calls:

Everyday I drag myself going to work. Always thinking of saying my opening spiel 20++ times today and sometimes i cant even get my mouth to talk! I hate the thought that Im already a server support in KL and now I am back in taking calls. I hate this job!

Now I'm re evaluating my decisions.

During these days I ask God, God do you really want me here? Is this really what You want us to do? Is it really your will that everything went fine during my recruitment here? OR is it just me? Is it just me that pushed everything and its not really Your will for me to be here? I realized that big salary didn't really matter if you don't like what you are doing. Sometimes money isn't always the answer.

Mike and me had been going to ENCS service every sunday a few weeks after we got here. Sometimes the service encourages us but most of the time, we still feels empty. Its like im feeling obligated to wake up in a sunday morning to go to church. I even argue saying that "its my restday right? why do i have to set my alarm?" I know its not good but its how it is during that time.

Then, we decided to sign up for small group. Well, its always not that easy you know... mike has always asked me to join a small group since we are in the Philippines and I just "Yeah sure" without my heart on it. In Malaysia he again opened it up to me and i said "Yeah sure why not" but no effort at all.. Then here in SIngapore, I also said yes with the same feeling "just to say yes to it and lets see what happen" well i did try to look for one though checked the location of the groupd leaders, if its mixed or for men only or for women only... then i cant find what will "fit me and my schedule".

One day, mike told me, "they replied to my email... were gonna meet the small group leader later". �nd my respond is just "okay" then after service im not sure why im so anxious.. and silent.. also im a bit un easy.... it may be because i dont know what to expect... im shy to meet new people... or any other things that could be..

Then there you go, i was like "go mico initiate everything, its your idea". then everything went fine. They are filipinos as well, we met Vic, the group leader and the members sein, mimi, and bert... they are great, accommodating, so generous and very warm..

Its still unclear for me what will happen next by then. But one thing im sure of... god really is speaking many times and in many ways! (heb 1:1)